(397) Man, tempted by the devil, let his trust in his Creator, die in his heart, and, abusing his freedom, disobeyed God's command. This is what man's first sin consisted of. All subsequence sin would be disobedience toward God, and lack of trust in His goodness. (398) In that sin man preferred himself to God, and by that very act scorn him. He chose himself over and against God, against the requirements of his creaturely status, and therefore against his own good. Constituted in a state of holiness, man was destined to be fully "divinized" by God in glory. Seduced by the devil, he wanted to "be like God," but "without God, before God, and not in accordance with God." ~ Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 397-398
Along with passivity... this is another "characteristic" passed to us by our forefather, Adam. A lack of TRUST. This was the devils first play against creation. To break the foundation of trust between man and his Creator––our first cause and final end.
He made God appear to be untrustworthy. That He is holding out on us. I imagine the conversation going something like this.
*Devil enters the garden*
"Hey... I know God said not to eat of the treat of the knowledge of good and evil but. I wanted to let you know something. He's not telling you everything. He knows when you eat of it... you will be just like Him. And He doesn't want that. He doesn't want to lose his power of you.
You see...
... you can't trust him."
The result?
A perpetual fractured foundation of trust between God and His children.
This violation of trust continues in our natural lives. Usually by the one person we trust[ed] the most (more often than not, it's our mother––whom is a man's first love).
... and as a consequence...
men are not longer willing to be vulnerable and honest. Because our perception is... it's not safe. And like Adam in the garden, we become afraid.
Our response to life, our wife, and circumstance becomes NO RESPONSE.
We hide and become passive.
When in reality...
Men have been led to believe... vulnerability isn't safe. When in reality... we are stronger when we are vulnerable. It's when we learn the most about ourselves and what we are truly capable of.
The Way of the Gang
In his book, “The Way of Men”, Jack Donavan poses the idea that, “the way of men is the way of the gang.”
"When men compete against each other for status, they are competing for each others approval. Masculinity is about being a man within a group of men… it’s about what men want from each other.” ~ Jack Donavan, The Way of Men.
It's a place where men learn how to become men. It's a place where we [re]-build our foundation of trust. So we can better respond to our thoughts and emotions. Since the creation of man... men have always sought to be a part of a “gang."
To be a part of something bigger than themselves.
- Military
- Martial Arts
- Literal Street Gangs
Prime example is the movie, "Fight Club."
It’s about a gang... and men wanted in!!
The narrator/Tyler starts a “Fight Club” and a movement called, “Project Mayhem.” Obviously he was a domestic terrorist but… he was the leader of something bigger than himself.
It was about a group of men who craved a desire deep in their soul to be feared or revered by other men. On another level, Fight Club was about men building a foundation of trust and silently solving their problems, together.
The Hidden Connection Between Men
In my opinion, Jiu-Jitsu is the best example of establishing a foundation of trust between men and being strong within a gang of better men.
On the mat you're trying to solve a highly intelligent 200 pound problem. And if you metaphorically turn your back on your problem, certain death awaits you.
It's the undisputed king for helping men develop every area of their life. The reason for this is the…
"Hidden Connection Between Men"
Being strong emotionally is about earning trust, respect, and being initiated into your God given masculinity.
Here’s how it works.
In the world of Jiu-Jitsu, if I tap you… this means I beat you—from a morbid perspective, I killed you—now you must respect me.
You have to humbly accept your defeat. You can’t insult the guy who just handed you the ass beating, HE JUST KICKED YOUR ASS!!!
All you can do is gather the shattered pieces of your fragile ego, train more, and come back a better man.
Brother in Arms + the Paradox of Safety
It’s also about protecting your brother… even though you know in a moment you can take his life. But you choose not to.
It’s the only place you know you’re safe. Which is paradoxical—being safe in a dangerous situation. Learning how to control the uncontrollable. Learning to remain calm... in chaos.
Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my BJJ brothers came after an intense rolling session. And you know what?
The topics were rarely about Jiu-Jitsu (or the latest technique of the week). It was usually about work. Personal stuff at home.
Internal struggle or their faith.
Little did I know… we were creating Soul Connections and a foundation of trust.
To be honest, I'm not sure why I opened up or why they opened up.
... Perhaps it's the trust we developed with each other on the mat?
... Maybe it's the endorphin overload BJJ produces?
... Or we're just going “soft?”
I could never put a finger on why.
But, as time passed I realized there's a deeper connection in Jiu-Jitsu than what we see on the surface. What connection could that be?
Well, here's what I've experienced over the last 22+ years.
As men, we develop a certain level of "respect" for each other. A foundation of trust on the mat. Probably because the power of life and death is literally in our hands.
At any moment, either of us could cripple or literally take one's life.
Hold the choke a little longer than you should and your training partner may never be the same.
Crank on the shoulder or heel and your brother my never be the same father to his children.
But we don’t.
Why?
Through Jiu-Jitsu, we develop an "underlying trust" for one another.
A “you watch my back and I'll watch your back” kinda trust.
Welding and deep connection with each other. Almost a "brother in arms" kinda connection.
… A connection we never knew we wanted.
… The ability to become vulnerable without feeling weak.
… Knowing it's ok to NOT be in control of everything.
Men have never been taught how to feel by their father––or older men. That it’s not "cool" to show your emotional side or allow yourself to become vulnerable.
On a deep metaphysical level, this is what Jiu-Jitsu and surrounding yourself with a gang of better men is all about…
... allowing yourself to become vulnerable!
Think about it.
On the mat you will become vulnerable, A LOT.
… You will get your ass kicked (whether you like it or not).
… You WILL NOT be in control.
… You WILL submit to another man.
… Your ego WILL get crushed by a much smaller dude.
… And you WILL feel like a loser in the beginning.
And you know what?
You MUST be 100% ok with it!
It's what makes Jiu-Jitsu, Jiu-Jitsu.
And as men, we don't know it but... we crave it.
Deep down, we want to be vulnerable. We want soul connection, and respect from other men.
So now what?
What do you do with this? What's the first step to setting a foundation of trust with those closest to you so you can be vulnerable... and become the strongest version of yourself?
Step 1: Build trust with yourself FIRST. By doing what it is you said you would do.
Take a moment to reflect (or even do some Bucketing Work) on where in your life you've broken trust with yourself by being out of integrity with what you said you would do.
Drop a comment below and let me know you're thoughts... 
hec g.